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Playing It Safe
Online
Before You Meet - First Date Know-How
by
Linda Alexander, Esq.
The Internet has become the hot new place for smart, eligible people to find
romance, and those looking for love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result,
many individuals have begun relationships online with people they have not met
and know little about.
With so many people communicating via the Net and deciding to date virtual
strangers, it is important to be safe and be smart. Common sense can go a long
way to keep you safe. Here are some guidelines for playing it safe:
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating solely by email or online chat. Be vigilant in
noticing odd behavior or inconsistencies. If someone is evasive, this is a red
flag. "Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other
end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes
you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Find out as much information as you can.
Learn to ask many questions. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how
he is connected to his community. These are clues to finding out who this person
really is. Be suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal
identifying information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your
correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag.
Continue with a great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to success.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or deceiving is easy online. Areas
to be particularly cautious about are marital status and physical appearance.
Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If someone
is unwilling to send a recent photo, this is warning sign. If he or she
continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that person has something to
hide. Having a scanned photo is available at Kinko's for less than ten dollars,
so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. After you have exchanged photos,
continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in
their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about your correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person's communication and social skills.
It is worth the cost of the call to protect your security. But do not give out
your phone number to a stranger. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel
completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
Don't rush into anything.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can
be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If someone is
pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning
sign. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time
to back away and look for another match.
If you decide to meet for a date, proceed with caution. Arrange the meeting on
your terms. The following is a guide to ensure that you have a safe encounter:
Before You Meet
Before you go out with someone new, it is important to get as much
information as you can about the person you will meet.
1. Always ask for a full name, address, and telephone number before agreeing to
go out with someone you have never met.
2. Never go out with someone who will only give you a pager or work phone
number. (There is a very good chance of a spouse in the house.)
3. When someone gives his or her phone number, find a reason to call
unexpectedly. This may help you to find out if she is married or he is living
with someone.
4. Find out where the person works and if you can call him or her at work
First Date Know-How
Be careful when agreeing to meet anyone in person.
Set the conditions for your date and do not let the other person change them.
Remember, you really do not know someone until you spend time with them in
person.
1. Always tell someone where you are going with your date and when you will
return. Leave your date's full name and telephone numbers with that person and
write it down. For a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you
are going and all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at
http://www.smartdate.com. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a
very big red flag. Protect yourself.
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with on your first date.
Stay near other people in a lighted area. Getting together for coffee is a
pleasant, casual way to get to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving your address out
to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave
if there is any sign of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you about him or
herself. If you find out that your date has lied about anything, this is another
red flag.
5. Do not bring your date back to your house after the first meeting. You do not
know this person. Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use
in any type of dating relationship.
Be smart and be safe. Take control of your future. Know what you are getting
into before you invest your heart, money, or your life. Information is the key.
Linda Alexander, Esq. is president of WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com, a
professional service that provides (for a small fee) a personal profile and
background check on your cyber-date or potential mate. WhoisHe.Com furnishes the
most current public record information, usually within twenty-four hours of your
request. WhoisHe.Com has helped thousands of people discover the truth about the
people they are meeting both online and off. For additional information about
this service call 800/503-3756 or send email to CheckHimOut@WhoisHe.Com or
CheckHerOut@WhoisShe.Com.
Now that you've got some safety tips, be bold. Check out Transgender
Personals and meet that someone special!
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